time to stop going to the movies...

Not because of the movies themselves. We saw Beowulf this afternoon. I liked it. The animation was mostly a thrill ride through uncanny valley but I enjoyed the script for what it was and found the environmental effects beautiful and well done.

No, movies are fine. I just don't think I want to see movie trailers anymore.

Today we had trailers for Cloverfield and I Am Legend, and I'm not linking to them deliberately because I don't want to get close enough to them to look them up. I see that it's popular to destroy New York City for cinema again, and I want no part of it. Maybe it's cute to other people, people who weren't there or who've never been there. Maybe it's more engaging to the audience when you pick landmarks people know in abstract or visited once as tourists, and blow those things up or show them in ruins.

Maybe it makes thrilling cinema for other people, but I've been there, done that, gotten the chronic health condition and the FEMA therapist and the PTSD and I'm done, thanks. Show your movies to the people who sign on for that ride. I opt to bail out and take the kiddie door back to the carousel, and I don't care how weak or stupid it makes me look. I'm damaged, I'm not going to pretend I'm not, and while this takes a backseat in everyday life and I've beaten it down to the point where I can function, function well, and not think about it anymore, anyone who's been there can tell you it's never fucking going away.

If I go to see the movie, then fine, I accept whatever's in the movie. When I go to see a different movie and I'm not prepared, I don't want to be bombarded with the fact that my trauma is the rest of the world's cheap thrill.

I'll be over here, waiting for the video.