5am

Oct. 9th, 2012 05:06 am
lapis_lazuli022: (Default)
[personal profile] lapis_lazuli022

It's 5am here. I woke up because I heard something like a bottle toppling over and thought it might be from the kitchen, but both cats are accounted for and still asleep, so maybe it was from outside. Something (non-feline, probably a bug) just bit me on the shoulder.

It's 8am on the east coast. This is exactly the sort of can't-get-back-to-sleep morning where I'd call my mom. The instinct to do so is still really strong and it hits at odd hours like this. That "I haven't talked to her in ages, need to call" impulse. I wonder if it'll ever fade.

Date: 2012-10-09 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anirt.livejournal.com
Years after my grandmum (Dad's mom) passed, I was at home when the phone rang. I turned to Dad and said "It's Grandma." He opened his mouth, closed it with a very odd scrunched up look, and walked away. Later I asked him what was wrong. "I was going to ask which one."

Now that grandma has been gone three years and when I listen to my Johnny Mercer Pandora station or practice songs for my recital, I catch myself thinking "Grandma will love this."

It is not as intense as your desire to call your Mom. It hasn't much faded for me, though. In fact, since it's been long enough her death isn't at the forefront, sometimes Grandma seems more present when I think on her.

Date: 2012-10-09 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sandpaper-tiger.livejournal.com
I still get this phantom-limb style feeling about my dad...that I should call and check on him. He died in 2001. It doesn't happen to me as often, but it still comes up every once in awhile.

Date: 2012-10-09 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peadarog.livejournal.com
Do you want it to fade?

Date: 2012-10-09 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lapis-lazuli.livejournal.com
I don't know. I don't want her to fade, but that's different.

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